One of the biggest pieces of cultural tension that I experience at my church is the idea of “sacred objects”.
I grew up in a tradition that does not have sacred objects. We would have service at church on Sunday and then completely move all the benches out of the way so we could play games on Friday. Then, if on next Sunday our dance and drama groups were going to be leading, we’d move the pulpit out of the way so that they would have the room. As a matter of fact, the last time I went home, the pulpit was pretty much gone because it was so much trouble to move back and forth. At my church you didn’t get attached to objects, that was akin to idolatry (Don’t worry about the pulpit, care about the word of God that is preached there. Don’t focus on the altar, focus on the prayers that you will offer there, and the God to whom you will offer the prayers).
It’s been hard for me to be ministering at a church where you hear phrases like “We aren’t showing respect for the sanctuary by having this pile of books there.” Part of me wants to say who cares about the sanctuary!
But on the other hand, I know that for many people in this church I currently call home treating the sanctuary with care is a way of expressing their worship and devotion to God, and when someone does not treat it with care, or moves things around for that particular days agenda, it’s a statement of arrogance and of disregard. It’s a statement that this person thinks that whatever they are doing now is more important than the things of God (where things include principles, words and objects).
So I’m in search of a balance. I want to minister to this culture, and not try to force them to be my culture. However, I also want to do it in such a way that the line separating respect and idolatry is not crossed. Add to that, that I want to also be true to my own mode of worship (though that is secondary/tertiary). So I have questions for you the readers. Firstly, for those of you in worship cultures with sacred objects/spaces, where is the line drawn for you, and in your culture between respect and idolatry. Secondly, for everyone, what suggestions do you have for ministering cross-culturally in this setting.
Ok, so I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman. But there are definitely things that grieve me about the way that women are treated in society. Take a look at the following quote from the comic blog Pretty Fizzy Paradise
That’s what it’s like to be a woman. Every day.
Every day, there are unspoken rules. For work. For home.
“Keep your hair and clothes neat, don’t look sloppy.”
“Dress professionally for business, preferably a suit.” Those apply pretty evenly for both genders, right? How about these?
“Don’t wear a suit with pants. Pants are mannish. Wear a skirt.”
“Don’t wear that skirt. It’s too short. You’ll look like a slut.”
“That skirt’s too long. You’ll look dowdy and frigid. You have to be attractive to be listened to.”
“Wear heels, they highlight the legs. But not too high. Too high is promiscuous. An inch or two. Never tower over the men.”
“Hair shouldn’t be too short. You’ll look butch. Intimidating. Your co-workers feel threatened. Short and fluffy. Or long. But worn up. Long hair loose is unprofessional. It’d better be conditioned and blow dried.”
“Wear make-up. No make-up means you look plain. No one listens to the plain girl.”
“Too much make-up looks slutty.”
“Don’t be too pale. You look vampiric. Tan.”
“Don’t be too dark. Use powders, lighten up.”
“Don’t be too boring. Exotic is good.”
“Don’t be too ethnic. Ethnic is intimidating.”
“Don’t stare directly into a man’s eyes. It’s challenging.”
“Don’t look away, he’ll think you’re not paying attention.”
“Look up through your lashes. Properly made up. But don’t be obvious.”
“Don’t be a bimbo. They’re not going to listen if you don’t give them a reason.”
“Don’t be too smart. It’s a threat.”
“Don’t look slutty. You could get raped.”
“Don’t dress too stuffy. You look frigid.”
“You’re too fat. Lose weight.”
“You’re too skinny. Men like curves.”
“Don’t say a word about how fucking angry this whole public dissection of your appearance makes you or you will lose this fucking job and you kind of need it to fucking eat.”
I absolutely hate the messages above. I hate that I have heard all of them, and I hate that I have conveyed these messages. I hate that my mother, my sisters, my friends, my future wife and future daughter(s) would have to live in a world that gives them the message that they are not good enough. I hate that they have to live in a world that tells them that they can never express themselves, but instead must conform to a standard of mediocrity that is, quite frankly, dehumanizing.
I hate it also because I have had the privilege of being free of those messages simply by my gender. However, I pray that I may be able to help tear down this particular stronghold of Babylon brick by brick, with my brothers and sisters beside me.
